What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
