Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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