I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
