Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
