marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
