I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
