Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
