Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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