talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How does one acquire holy water?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
