They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
