Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
