It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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