what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize