just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i think i have two assholes
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
