do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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