I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
