1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Less talking, more tequila
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
