he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
