Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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