I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
