Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
