Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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