He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
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Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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