Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
