You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
