honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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