She is in my trunk
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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