i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
