I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
