Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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