Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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