Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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