I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
