i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
