carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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