i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
