I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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