if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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