do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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