Do you still have your period?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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