your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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