I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
