Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
