does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
