Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
