someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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