I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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