your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
