Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I see more hoeing in ur future
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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