I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
