i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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