I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
