we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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