it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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