also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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