Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
