I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
