is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
