I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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