So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
