Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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