She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You smell like a Billy Joel song
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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