he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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