Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
