why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
this is an emotional support booty call
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
