Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
