Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
