i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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