When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
