i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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