are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
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i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
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WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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