bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
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