you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
